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Seinfeld Quotes

Browse our collection of Seinfeld quotes and sayings. Share Seinfeld quotes with friends and family.

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Seinfeld Quotes & Sayings

Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.
- Jerry Seinfeld

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!
- Jerry Seinfeld

My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty, and that's the law.
- Jerry Seinfeld

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.
- Jerry Seinfeld

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.
- Jerry Seinfeld

I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.
- Jerry Seinfeld

See, the thing of it is, there's a lot of ugly people out there walking around but they don't know they're ugly because nobody actually tells them.
- Jerry Seinfeld

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.
- Jerry Seinfeld

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