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Funny Quotes

Browse our collection of Funny quotes and sayings. Share Funny quotes with friends and family.

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Funny Quotes & Sayings

funny-I like pigs. Dogs look

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.
- Winston Churchill

funny-I used to sell furniture

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.
- Les Dawson

funny-Don't go around saying the

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
- Mark Twain

funny-It is easier to fight

It is easier to fight for principles than to live up to them.
- Alfred Adler

funny-Power corrupts. Absolute power is

Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.
- John Lehman

funny-A girl phoned me the

A girl phoned me the other day and said - come on over, there's nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home.
- Anonymous Author

funny-Half of the people in

Half of the people in the world are below average.
- Anonymous Author

funny-I can resist everything except

I can resist everything except temptation.
- Oscar Wilde

funny-Never insult an alligator until

Never insult an alligator until after you have crossed the river.
- Cordel Hull

funny-I am so clever that

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde

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