Quotes

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage.
-George Gobel

You can lead a boy to college, but you cannot make him think.
-Elbert Hubbard

Successful colleges will start laying plans for a new stadium; unsuccessful ones will start hunting a new coach.
-Will Rogers

Going to college offered me the chance to play football for four more years.
-Ronald Reagan

I think everyone should go to college and get a degree and then spend six months as a bartender and six months as a cabdriver. Then they would really be educated.
-Al McGuire

College football is a sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture.
-Elbert Hubbard

It was like a heart transplant. We tried to implant college in him but his head rejected it.
-Barry Switzer

It's not your blue blood, your pedigree or your college degree. It's what you do with your life that counts.
-Millard Fuller

Earnestness is stupidity sent to college.
-P. J. O'Rourke

Don't ever dare to take your college as a matter of course - because, like democracy and freedom, many people you'll never know have broken their hearts to get it for you.
-Alice Miller

College football is a sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture.
-Elbert Hubbard

Quiet you kids. If I hear one more word, Bart doesn't get to watch cartoons, and Lisa doesn't get to go to college.
-Dan Castellaneta

The most conservative persons I ever met are college undergraduates. The radicals are the men past middle life.
-Woodrow T. Wilson

College is like a fountain of knowledge - and the students are there to drink.
-Anonymous Author

College isn't the place to go for ideas.
-Helen Keller

I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford.
-Dave Barry

I have always had the feeling I could do anything and my dad told me I could. I was in college before I found out he might be wrong.
-Ann Richards

College is the best time of your life.
-Anonymous Author

Standardization is the fertilizer of college education. A little may be useful, but flowers do not grow in pure manure.
-Martin H. Fischer

Americans are the only people in the world known to me whose status anxiety prompts them to advertise their college and university affiliations in the rear window of their automobiles.
-Paul Fussell

I learned three important things in college - to use a library, to memorize quickly and visually, to drop asleep at any time given a horizontal surface and fifteen minutes.
-Agnes DeMille

A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in the students.
-John Ciardi

I am often amazed at how much more capability and enthusiasm for science there is among elementary school youngsters than among college students.
-Dr. Carl Sagan

Of course there's a lot of knowledge in colleges, the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don't take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates.
-Abbott Lawrence Lowell

Never get married in college; it's hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you've already made one mistake.
-Elbert Hubbard

Some people unable to go to school were more educated and even more intelligent than college professors.
-Maya Angelou

One of the great mind destroyers of college education is the belief that if it's very complex, it's very profound.
-Dennis Prager

A college education should equip one to entertain three things: a friend, an idea and oneself.
-Thomas Ehrlich

A college education shows a man how little other people know.
-Thomas C. Haliburton

In one century we went from teaching Latin and Greek in high school to offering remedial English in college.
-Joseph Sobran

Being considerate of others will take your children further in life than any college degree.
-Marian Wright

No man should escape our colleges without knowing how little he knows.
-J. Robert Oppenheimer

A thorough knowledge of the Bible is worth more than a college education.
-Theodore Roosevelt

If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.
-Frank Zappa

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain

That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college!
-Dan Castellaneta

An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.
-Ambrose Bierce

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a college education, he may steal the whole railroad.
-Theodore Roosevelt

A college is a place where pebbles are polished and diamonds dimmed.
-Robert Ingersoll

College is a refuge from hasty judgment.
-Robert Frost

Definition of a College professor: someone who talks in other people's sleep.
-W. H. Auden

Life is my college. May I graduate well, and earn some honors!
-Louisa May Alcott

A university is a college with a stadium seating over 40,000.
-Leonard L. Levinson

At best, most college presidents are running something that is somewhere between a faltering corporation and a hotel.
-Leon Botstein

Fathers send their sons to college either because they went to college or they didn't.
-L.L. Hendren

The new appears as a minority point of view, and hence is unpopular. The function of a university is to give it a sanctuary.
-Martin H. Fischer

Does college pay? They do if you are a good open-field runner.
-Will Rogers

At college age, you can tell who is best at taking tests and going to school, but you can't tell who the best people are. That worries the hell out of me.
-Barnaby C. Keeney

The average Ph.D. thesis is nothing but a transference of bones from one graveyard to another.
-J. Frank Dobie

A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn't answer the phone.
-Craig Kilborn

Education is a private matter between the person and the world of knowledge and experience, and has little to do with school or college.
-Lillian Smith

College isn't the place to go for ideas.
-Helen Keller