Quotes

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
-S.J. Perelman

Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin - it's the triumphant twang of a bedspring.
-S.J. Perelman

An anniversary is a time to celebrate the joys of today, the memories of yesterday, and the hopes of tomorrow.
-S.J. Perelman

Love is not singular except in syllable.
-Marvin Taylor

True love stories never have endings.
-Richard Bach

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him.
-H.L. Mencken

Spouse: someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.
-S.J. Perelman

The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character.
-Peter Devries

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots.
-Hoosier Farmer

Infatuation is when you think he's as sexy as Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger, as noble as Ralph Nader, as funny as Woody Allen, and as athletic as Jimmy Conners.
-Judith Viorst

Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction.
-Antoine de Saint-Exupery

The highest happiness on earth is marriage.
-William Lyon Phelps

Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
-S.J. Perelman

Nobody has ever measured, even poets, how much a heart can hold.
-Zelda Fitzgerald

Love is a sweet tyranny, because the lover endureth his torments willingly.
-Proverb

It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
-Rita Rudner

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
-Mignon McLaughlin

The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds - they mature slowly.
-Peter De Vries

No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
-Abraham Lincoln

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.
-Marcel Proust

Trip over love, you can get up. Fall in love and you fall forever.
-S.J. Perelman

Love is a symbol of eternity. It wipes out all sense of time, destroying all memory of a beginning and all fear of an end.
-S.J. Perelman

We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.
-S.J. Perelman

A happy marriage is a long conversation that always seems too short.
-Andre Maurois

Marriage, n: The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
-Ambrose Bierce

Our wedding was many years ago. The celebration continues to this day.
-Gene Perret

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
-Phyllis Diller

If two stand shoulder to shoulder against the gods,Happy together, the gods themselves are helpless Against them while they stand so.
-Maxwell Anderson

Love is when you realize that he's as sexy as Woody Allen, as smart as Jimmy Connors, as funny as Ralph Nader, as athletic as Henry Kissinger and nothing like Robert Redford - but you'll take him anyway.
-Judith Viorst

Are we not like two volumes of one book?
-Marceline Desbordes-Valmore

Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that.
-Michael Leunig

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
-Woody Allen

A man reserves his true and deepest love not for the species of woman in whose company he finds himself electrified and enkindled, but for that one in whose company he may feel tenderly drowsy.
-George Jean Nathan

Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.
-S.J. Perelman

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year.
-Paul Sweeney